(Mori)Bus Philosophorum: Bussed on Leigh Day (BoLD)

I often meet up with a short yellow school bus at the intersection of Lark and Spring on my morning walk to the Armory.  Today the driver nodded in greeting and then gestured that I could cross in front of him, which I did with a wave and a smile.  Then I heard a shrill voice from the window shriek, “She’s got a big butt!” and the other tiny passengers erupted in laughter.  The driver barked something stern but unintelligible in response as I kept walking, stung.  (Mostly because I wish it were true.  A big butt is something I’ve always wanted but never had.  A friend, after taking a handful once said, “Leigh, for a girl with a flat ass, you have a really soft ass.”  He meant it as a compliment.  I thanked him through my grimace.)  When I arrived at the bus shelter I did what I always do; I lit a cigarette and scanned the front page of the Times Union.  A woman inside the shelter shouted, “Barbara!!!” through the glass and came running out to greet…..me?  When she realized I wasn’t Barbara she apologized saying, “You guys look exactly alike!  But Barbara is much older.”  Great.  Mocked by children and mistaken for a old woman.  It added insult to injury when I boarded the bus five minutes later and the driver said, “Sweetie, you look tired.”  I sighed and agreed, saying it had been a tough morning.  The bus was overrun with Albany High students and I had to wedge my apparently gigantic rear into a spot so tiny that one of those smart-assed seven year-olds from earlier would have had a tough time.

I made it in.