Obsession: Mad Gabs

One day a long while ago I was over at Mark’s and he told me about Mad Gabbing and how it had overtaken his life.  He’d started with the board game and then moved on to looking for inspiration everywhere; it was a Price Chopper circular that first blew his mindpiece.  He and Meag had Mad Gabbed their way through it from, “spy reel Sly’s dam,” to, “soup or Suave tea dawn huts.”  After I stopped crying from his demonstration of the game (oh, FYI, you read the string of seemingly nonsensical words quickly until they mean something else.  Like, in the examples above, spiral-sliced ham and super-softee doughnuts.  It’s hysterical because people sound like robots as they try to figure it out) I tried it for myself and was hooked without ever having actually played the game.  Lately it has gotten to the point of being an obsession.  Every morning I wake up to my Crisp Roun’ ringtone and hum as I walk to the bathroom, “Ho!  Hymen, T. U.  Hen ho Hun nails wheeled who!”   I refer to my friend Jeff Smith as, “Jeff’s Myth.”   The name of our band is Marion et Paul, which is a Mad Gab of my favorite song of Rich’s, Mary in Nepal.  Every headline, product name and movie title that comes into my brainspace gets mentally Mad Gabbed and worked out under my breath.  Then I giggle to myself, which is embarrassing on the bus, and think about how there is nothing even remotely marketable about this skill (unless, of course, I wanted to get a job naming Britney Spears songs.  There’s a track on her new album called, “If You Seek Amy.”  Clever.)  Not only is it pretty much useless but there’s really no way to turn it off and it’ll probably eventually drive me insane.   For now though it keeps me privately entertained.  Pry vittle he hinder deigned.  I’m sitting here writing this and Mark, who has been sick with some sort of intestinal thing texts me, “…and I bagged Ariel’s hope.”  When I ask how he’s feeling he replies, “Leigh quits, she hits.”