Ho Ho Hooooly CRAP! Is that Green Man?

This afternoon was the 3rd Annual Santa Speedo Sprint, the official best Christmas- and nudity-inspired Albany charity event of the year.  There are so many things about this that scream, “SIGN.  ME.  UP.”  It benefits the Damien Center, is organized by ASAP (I’m partial to these guys because a bunch of them are childhood friends but also because of their kinda revolutionary approach to public service) and is run by dozens of barely-clad boy-Santas.  Sign.  Me.  Up.  I guess I should say sign yourself up and I will sponsor you because I’ll only run for the bus or my life, but you know what I mean.  This is the second year I’ve gone in support of my favorite dark horse, Josh, and I think we may have set a team record for, “shortest time elapsed between leaving Lark Tavern at closing time and coming back the next day,” (an impressive eight hours.)  Probably more fun than the race itself is the party at the Tav beforehand; always wall-to-wall people, sensory overload with cowbells clanging and disco playing and everyone cheering.  Today was a circus with Tess, as always, playing cheerful ringleader. It took me five minutes to get from the front door to the back room where the boys were.  With a coffee in one hand and a vodka in the other, I looked at the skin all around me and thought, ‘Why don’t we do this more often?’   Then I noticed the crinkled-up expression on Matt’s face, took a deep breath and remembered why.  Naked drunk people stink.  Of course nudity isn’t compulsory; there were a handful of other festive costumes: a Gingerbread Girl, Rudolph, GREEN MAN.  Nothing says Christmas (and, “Goddamn it, Charlie!”) like Green Man, right?