(Mori)Bus Philosophorum: Puppy People

I’ve mentioned in past bus posts that I like to spend my commute in a, “zone.”  Whether that means reading, listening to music or just staring off into space I’m very protective of this personal time. Sometimes it’s all I get during the day and it’s mine. So nothing stresses me out more than feeling obligated to socialize. I see the same people day in and day out and sometimes it leads to acquaintances. You chat about the whole bus experience and once in a while you wind up sharing about your personal life.  Well I seldom share my personal life but I seem to have, “Tell me your story,” written on my forehead. This blinking neon sign attracts nuts, loners and my least favorite breed: puppy people. I’m sure you have a few in your life; no matter how many times you kick them away they keep on coming back for more. You can’t be gentle with them because they don’t get it and you can’t be severe because they’re so clueless and sweet that it makes you feel terrible. I spend a lot of time adopting an approach-me-at-your-own-risk look hoping that people back off.  It gets overridden, though, by my neon sign. Today I was followed on to the line bus by one of my puppy people.  She only talks about her boyfriend.  I don’t know her boyfriend and don’t really care what he said in his last text message or the next time he’s coming to visit. Sometimes she’ll initiate a conversation just by saying, “I talked to my boyfriend yesterday.”  Wait, let me get this straight. Your boyfriend…called you……last night. Someone get the fucking Times Union on the phone. I know, I know. It’s impossible for me to deal with puppy people without seeming like a total bitch. And I’m okay with that. Today I sat down and busied myself with my iPod. When she sat down next to me I calmly said, “Oh, I’m going to put on my headphones.” She seemed put off, but I was proud of myself.  It was the verbal equivalent of smacking her with a newspaper. I guess puppy people just need someone to tell them who’s boss. Call me the Bus Whisperer.